Anyone ever been in this situation?
There’s someone in your life. S/he seems nice. S/he is very sweet. You text often. You chat the whole day on gtalk. You call each other a lot. You exchange sweet nothings constantly. BUT…You’re not officially together. Because, for some reason or another, the air is not clear. The signals are mixed. You find yourself listening to emo songs and the ballads of Celine Dion, you suddenly can’t stop thinking about the other person, one day you hate them – the next you’re convinced you can’t live without them, and the symptoms just go on.
Let me tell you now: YOU’VE JUST BEEN MIND FUCKED!
And you know what happens when you get mind fucked? Everything the other person does becomes pregnant with meaning.
The slightest touch on your elbow, whether accidentally or on purpose, is taken as a “sign.” Correspondences, regardless of how trite, suddenly have subtexts. Songs take on different meanings.
And it sucks big time.
It won’t be long until you hardly get any sleep at night, you turn to various distractions like alcohol and food, you start to under appreciate what you have, and soon enough, depression sets in. Not. A. Good. State. To. Be. In. (I can’t stress it enough)
So how does one avoid getting mind fucked? Easy. Just clear the air. Ask the person outright what you mean to him/her – if you’re someone special, then good; if not, so be it. You can cry all you want, but that’s what it is. Then shrug it off and move on to someone else. Should the perpetrator refuse to clear the air (i.e., won’t answer your questions or looks for convenient excuses), let them go still. Steer clear of them for a while. You don’t deserve the mental anguish, and think about how your iPod will be so stressed from overplaying “That’s What You Get” by Paramore.
See, mind fuckers don’t necessarily do it on purpose. They just like your company, your thoughts, your constant communication – but for some reason, they don’t want those things to change. And you should be more understanding: we all need something constant to turn to in our ever-changing contexts. You’re there, you’re consistent, you’re sweet and all, and that’s it. Ceteris paribus. It’s a user-friendly world, learn to accept that.
Now corollary to avoiding getting mind fucked, how do you avoid being a mind fucker? Simple, really. Don’t be too accommodating, don’t humor the other party, avoid indulging them; lest you commit a crime that has led to the spawning of such series as “Dawson’s Creek”, “Queer As Folk”, etc. There is still a need to clear the air, to ask your potential “victim” how s/he sees you; if it’s something beyond the more-than-special friend you view yourself as, and it makes you uncomfortable, then tell him/her. But if you also see him/her as more than a special friend but, for reasons that can only be comprehended by you, you cannot handle crossing that line just yet, tell the person. Status quo is better than heavy awkardness, you know.
Whether you’re a fuckee or a fucker, what’s important to remember is that there is no such thing as “safe” mind fucking: no condoms, no pills, no vaccines – someone’s bound to get infected at some point. Hence the need to abstain from emotional fuck buddy-ing. Quash your curiosity. Watch pathetic, lovestruck characters on TV and the movies writhe in pain as they try to figure out the purpose of their lives, putting on hold the more important things because they’re placing their bets on that ONE person – and vow never to be that. Always be on high alert. Of course, I’m not saying you should be jaded about love, just try not to put too much meaning into everything (a smile after a sneeze in front of you is hardly romantic!).
The next time you meet friends or find yourself in situations that you FEEL are about to lead to you being a mind fuckEE or a mind fuckER, stop and think back to what you’ve just read here. You could be saving yourself a whole lot of emotional turmoil in the process. But if you still choose to go ahead and just mind fuck around, always remember that the adage still holds true: “Be careful what you wish for ’cause you just might get it!”
Once upon a time I was in love, 
